I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
