you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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