We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
