And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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