dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize