apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
