hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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