I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
