Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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