All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
