Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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