AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
