Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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