I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize