sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He passed out mid-signature
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
