If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
