Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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