My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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