im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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