You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
