my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize