So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
