I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
