I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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