check it out our google latitudes are spooning
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
