Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
