you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
