come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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