Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
