i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
