Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
