there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
