im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
