I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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