I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a search helicopter?!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wear drunk well.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
