a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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