Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Randomize
