ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
