He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
