She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So squirting runs in the family.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
