i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize