Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize