his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
