then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
