I wannas sexs uuuuu
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
