OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
