Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
