i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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