It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
