Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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