i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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