hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We're facebook friends in real life
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
