THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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