Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
