Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
