is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
