I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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