do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
