this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize