Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What a dumb baby whore.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
