i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
