Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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