if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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