he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
