i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
