Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
