I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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