When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
