11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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