Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
