Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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